Oh no, not again....

I pulled my hair back, kneeled in front of the toilet bowl, lurched forward and emptied my stomach uncontrollably. My lungs were about to explode, my head was throbbing, my fingers were trembling, and my breath smelled like.. like.. OK gross! This was what I had for dinner?

I flushed, ran towards the sink and gargled at least a hundred times before brushing my teeth for a good five minutes. I still smelled (and looked) like Shrek.

I staggered weakly out from the bathroom and sat myself down on the couch. It was 5 in the morning and everyone was fast asleep. The house was dark, which was errr kinda creepy but OK focus! Why is this happening to me? Was this food poisoning? Okay, no shit Sherlock... This was food poisoning for sure. But.. But... WHY?

Okay, think! It has got to be dinner. Daddy bought a new (ridiculously expensive) barbecue set the night before, and we were being adventurous to test it out this evening. So we had barbecued chicken and lamb and beef and fish and sausages (err ok, the diet plan - clearly failed). But, no one else had the slightest discomfort from dinner. Why.... Why was I the only one?

My stomach was churning, my head was spinning. I clutched my stomach, breathed slowly and fought the nausea by clamping my lips. Maybe I should relax. Okay breathe... I leaned back and closed my eyes. Breathe..... Hey, this was actually working. I didn't have the urge to throw up anymore. I'm feeling much better. I think. . .

OK wait.

Shit. Oh shit.

I didn't need to puke, I was going to......

My eyes flung wide open as I leaped right out of my seat and dashed towards the bathroom. OK OMG, like, super yuck! Okay think pretty flowery thoughts! Rainbows in the sky! Butterflies fleeting by! Unicorns flying high! Alright... I'm done! Phewww..

I crawled back to the couch and let out a deep sigh. What the heck is wrong with me? I've been up all night throwing up dinner as if I was bulimic. Was this what people had to go through to lose weight? Was this what they --

Hang on, if this was what people did to lose weight then...

My eyes flickered. A brilliant thought swept through my throbbing head. I shuffled towards my weighing scale and gingerly stepped on it.

What the... Oh my... This can't be true.

I got off the scale and stepped on it again. And again. And again. NO WAY! A smile crept across my face (despite the torture I was going through). This was unbelievable!

I LOST WEIGHT!!!

See?... Food poisoning isn't that bad! Yah yah, so you throw up (but with all the alcohol training, you gain experience) and then your stomach hurts (but with all the period cramps training, you gain experience) and you err poop (but.. cough okay enough said) and then -

Err hang on, what's this I'm feeling? Oh no.. I think..... I think -- AHHHH BATHROOM AGAIN!!!

IBIZA!

Clear blue skies, gentle waves crashing the shore, lying down with the sun biting through your skin, having stray strands of your hair being swept by the breeze, the smell of the ocean wafting across the air, hot TOPLESS women basking under the sun, hunky men with terminator bodies frolicking around,

welcome to Ibiza :)

Wide array of rear displays :D

All the girls - me, sherve, jun chin, sofia, lou, hanaa, mazzy and hwei

The macho cough men heh - Jer, Paul and Zhiyang

(I did not take this picture! My camera was hijacked by boys with raging hormones)

Our banana boat adventure!

When we err capsized haha

This was absolute bliss! Massage beds, comfortable chairs and a jug of sangria :)

At the streets of Cafe del Mar

While we waited for the sun to set

Dinner at Savannah

As the sun dipped beneath the sea

Getting ready for a night out!

Tequila shots --> Game over

Scandal #1 ;)
Scandal #2 ;)

Washroom check

Pacha!

Paul made friends with some Italian dudes! (The guy in purple kinda hot right lol)

Zhiyang = Scandal #3? ;)

Ibiza was absolutely amazing! So many hot Spanish guys! *fans myself*

Now that I'm back in Malaysia... Aiyo why all so fail!?!?!

:D

The rest of Scotland :)

Vyen brought me to Peckhams for tea one fine afternoon, as it had been raining continuously the entire morning (we obviously stayed in, curled comfortably under her blanket watching our TVB drama).

The place was lovely :) It had a very chilled out ambiance and we sat down and talked for hours.

Vyen sipping her cup of coffee

Look at the amount of food we ordered! Okay, so we shared but ...still! I was supposed to be on a diet for Ibiza ha ha ha. Clearly, FAILED.

After our scrumptious meal, we headed to the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre (SECC), a national venue for public events. We had to take a bus from Glasgow central since the subways were closed due to flooding.

This is the Clyde Auditorium. Doesn't it remind you of the Sydney Opera House? Although, apparently the Sydney Opera House was not the inspiration for this architecture's work. It was more of the Armadillo (an animal with a similar shape).. But maybe he was just a copy cat and didn't want to admit it :D

It is an iconic concert venue in Glasgow. If you watched the Simpsons, it was in one of their episodes with a parody of the infamous Susan Boyle

This is Clyde River, which played an important role in the start-up of Glasgow

And then we had to wait for an hour and a half for the stupid bus to pick us up back to the town centre!

Next day, we took a train to Loch Lomond! It's a very scenic place like Loch Ness, where Nessie, the Loch Ness monster's legend originated from.

The train ride there

Our handy map!
Walking through the woods, where a really cute dog nearly attacked us

Up on the Maid of the Loch, which was the last paddle steamer built in Britain.

Vyen studying the map while we were having our picnic lunch in the park

While I was pretending to read a book ;)

Vyen admiring the boats and river and picturesque view

While I was more attracted to thornton's ice cream and the kiddy's train ;)

Vyen taking in the sights and sounds on our Loch Lomond river cruise

While I was behaving like a five year old he he he

I'm normally very poised, prim, propper and lady like. Just so you know ;)

And then the next day, we packed up and took the train down to Londres!

Edinburgh!

Vyen and I took a train from Glasgow to Edinburgh on my second day visiting. Armed with a tourist map and our superb sense of direction (really!), we explored the capital city of Scotland, the second most visited tourist destination in UK after London.

First stop was Calton Hill. It was a long and tiring journey hiking up the hill, we were panting by the time we reached the top. But the view was simply breathtaking :)

This Portugese Canon was cast in the early 15th century and transported to the Portugese colonies in the southeast Asia sometime before 1785. In 1886 the cannon was presented to Edinburgh and placed on Calton Hill the following year.

Could it have been the same ones at our Kota A Famosa? :D
This is the Palace of Holyroodhouse, which is the Queen's official residence in Scotland. From the end of June til the beginning of July, Her Majesty carries out a wide range of official engagements in Scotland here at this Palace.

Mary, the Queen of Scots lived here between 1561 and 1567. The Palace was the setting for many dramatic episodes in her short and turbulent reign.

This is the Scottish Parliament. Queen Elizabeth II opened this new building on 9th October 2004.

This was the Royal Mile.. Where we walked for one freaking mile! (1.6km).

The Edinburgh City Chambers

Adam Smith, who studied at University of Glasgow and Oxford University, and upon graduating he delivered lectures in Edinburgh. He spent ten years writing the Wealth of Nation! Major developer for classical economics (free markets can regulate themselves), division of labour, invisible hand etc.

If you look at the back of your £20 note, you'll notice it's Adam Smith (he's the first Scotsman to be featured on an English banknote).

And this is the Elephant House, the birthplace of Harry Potter!

Made famous as a place of inspiration to writers such as J.K Rowling, who sat writing much of her early Harry Potter novels in the back room overlooking Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh Castle!

You can read a lot more about it here

This is the St. Giles Cathedral, one of Edinburgh's religious focal points for nearly 900 years. It is renowned for its stained glass, Reiger organ and beautiful Thistle Chapel.

Deacon Brodie, a pillar of society by day (Edinburgh city councillor) by day and a burglar by night (for the thrill and partly to fund for his gambling)

During the day, he worked as a cabinet maker, so he would install and repair locks and then use this knowledge to make copies of the keys using wax impressions. He used the illicit money to maintain his second life, including 5 children and 2 mistresses (who did not know of each other) and his gambling habit

When he was finally caught, he fled to Netherlands in hopes to escape to the US, but he was arrested in Amsterdam and shipped back to Edinburgh for trial.

He was hanged at the St. Giles Cathedral using the gallows that Brodie himself had designed.

It is said that Deacon Brodie had influenced Robert Louis Stevenson's story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Remember remember? We did that in English literature in form 3!)

A pub commemorating Deacon Brodie

Coffee break! Where we sat down, sipped good coffee and had delicious cakes while writing postcards and had girly chats just about everything :)

And that was Edinburgh in a day! After we finished touring, it started to pour just as we were seated comfortably indoors. We extended our coffee break, had more girly chats and then headed towards Princes Street for a bit of shopping (hehe) before heading to the train station back to Glasgow :)

Glasgow!

A week ago, I finally stepped foot on Scottish soil to visit Su Vyen! As I was walking out from the train, she came running towards me (it was quite like a Bolywood romantic movie) and we screamed and embraced into a hug while jumping and squealing like little girls. People all around the train station started laughing at us.

Glasgow was such a lovely city! It's the largest city in Scotland and the 3rd largest city in the United Kingdom (after London and Birmingham).

Scottish men in their fashionable kilts and bagpipes. Tradition has it that a "true Scotsman" should wear nothing under his kilt (I am not kidding). So the next time you see someone in a kilt, you know what to do la right :D

Su Vyen brought me for tea at The Willow Tearoom, where we sat down among many err I'm assuming mostly retired (i.e old) aunties and uncles sipping tea on a Saturday afternoon. This was the life :)

The Willow Tearoom was famous for its marvellous interior design by Charles Mackintosh, an internationally renowned architect. He also designed almost every aspect of the tearoom, including the furniture, cutlery, menu and even the waitresses uniforms!

After a scrumptious meal, we went roaming around the streets of Glasgow. The 3 main streets were Argylle, Sauchiehall and Buchanan Street. They were packed with people strolling around as the weather had been surprisingly pleasant, with the sun making it's grand appearance.

The Gallery of Modern Art, which was the second most visited contemporary art gallery in the UK outside London. The dude on the horse outside the gallery is a statue of the Duke of Wellington, and if you squinted your eyes and looked closely, you'll notice....

.... A cone sitting on top of his head!

Apparently for many years authorities regularly removed the cones, but they were quickly replaced by new cones on his head. So I guess the cone now remains as a permanent accessory for the Duke.

Then we took the subway (I didn't know Glasgow had undergrounds!) to West End.

And visited the University of Glasgow, which was founded in 1451 and is one of the oldest universities in the world!

See, why can't LSE have nice lawns and benches and trees to sit by? All we have are... wait do we even have a single patch of grass anywhere within the school compound?

The Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum, which we covered thoroughly in a record breaking half an hour hehe.

The Glasgow Botanic Gardens, where we sat by the bench and enjoyed the sun. We were inside the greenhouse admiring the plants for awhile until we felt like we were dying from the heat trapped inside.

A couple of boys came up to us and started a conversation with us. They told us they were 18 and have already graduated from University of Glasgow because they were exceptionally smart Mensa geeks. Is that even possible or were they pulling our legs and taking advantage of our gullibility?

For dinner, Vyen brought me to Mussel Inn. We couldn't finish the 2 pots filled with 1/2 kgs of mussels, but they were extremely delicious :)

On the way home, we passed by the Glasgow Cathedral which was an excellent example of Scottish Gothic architecture. Daddy claims that he attended Sunday service here regularly when he was a student here in Glasgow.

Vyen, the star student from University of Strathclyde :)

Strath means valley in Gaelic (which is a branch of the Celtic language), and Clyde is for the River Clyde which flows through Glasgow.

Then we headed back to Vyen's student accommodation, Birbeck Court, which my daddy coincidentally used to live in during his 2nd year when he was a university student!

At night we curled up cosily on her springy bed and began our Chinese TVB "Chong Sai Gei" (At the threshold of an era) marathon. It was something we were obsessed with when we were in form 2, on Astro Wah Lai Toi, but that was with help from Malay Subtitles.

This time I had to strain my ears and study facial expressions, interpret the tone and dynamics of their voices, and decipher the music to make out what's actually happening on screen.

And also errr well, turn to Vyen every five seconds or so, and ask her "Eh, what's happening now?" "What did he just say?" "What's going on?" "Who's that dude?"

But my cantonese is slowly (but surely) improving. One day I'll string proper sentences for you heh.

And that was day one! :)

"Come this way and I'll show you around the gym." Jean, the gym manager rose from his seat and led me down the stairs. "So are you just looking around? Or do you intend to have a workout today?" He briefly glanced at me from head to toe.

"Err, yes, I'd be working-out today" I smiled sheepishly and handed him the free 1 day pass I printed out. The other girls in the gym were clad in Nike body hugging skimpy attires, exposing their washboard abs. I looked like I was in my pajamas.

"Excellent!" he exclaimed. "So you're probably familiar with the gym equipments, since you were previously a member at the Fitness First Bloomsbury branch. Here in Old Street, we're pretty much the same, only smaller. And, we don't have gym classes."

"No gym classes?" I was horrified. No body pump, body attack, body jam, yoga, spin studio classes? Those classes were the driving force for my visits to the gym.

"Yea, well there isn't enough space in here. But if you look this side, we have a wide range of cardiovascular equipments and just around the other side we have free weights and benches. The ladies changing room are across the room, with shower facilities and your personal lockers. We have a sauna for you to relax after your workout and a lounge with free flow of drinks and magazines. And since summer is coming up, we have sunbeds for you to get a radiant looking tan, all for only £39.95! And well, I think that's ... pretty much everything!" He clasped his hands together. "Excited to begin your work out? Have you been exercising regularly?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I err... Well, no um... Actually err not at all." I stammered and faked a laugh. "You know how err busy final year in university gets," I lied and shrugged my shoulders.

He smiled sympathetically. "Okay then, if you need anything just give me a holler."

I kept my belongings in the lockers and strutted towards the treadmills. I swiftly scanned the room for hot looking guys but to my dismay, all there were around me were old uncles. The hunks were flocking by the muscle building equipments, which were at opposite ends from the cardio side. That's ok. No distractions.

The treadmill belt starts moving and I quickened my pace. Nah, this was too easy. I increased the speed and jogged faster. This felt great! The last time I wore my jogging shoes were, err were.. err months ago, I think.

But wow! How much I've missed running! The adrenaline released into my body, blood rushing through my veins, my cheeks flushed in shades of pink, beads of sweat across my forehead and temples. It was exhilarating!

The old uncle on the treadmill beside me increased his speed. If he could, surely I could too? My fingers automatically went to increase my speed as well.

Five minutes later he increased his speed again. I had to do the same.

After ten minutes, we're both running on a higher speed.

And then he increased his speed yet again! Seriously? How old is this dude?! I increased mine to match his pace.

We've been running for half an hour. I was short of breath. But he... he was still as fit as a horse. I tucked a wisp of stray hair behind my ear and wiped the sweat trickling down the side of my face. No way am I giving up!

All of a sudden, the old uncle slowed down, and began to jog at a relaxed pace. I looked suspiciously at him. Should I lower my speed as well? Begin to cool down before I end my workout?

Nah-uh!! I could go further! I had to make full use of my ONE day free gym pass! I had to repair the damage exam binging has done! My legs were hurting and my lungs were dying for air but I could not stop now! I had to keep running! For Freddie Mercury, who was playing on the TV screen.

After 45 minutes, I caved in and surrendered. I cooled down for another 5 minutes and finally, the treadmill stopped moving. I wobbled off, my legs felt like jelly. I was panting and gasping for air so badly, I sounded like I was about to collapse and faint.

I was drenched in sweat, my hair was scruffy, and I was still huffing but I .... I was beaming with pride! I wore a smile on my face as I stepped out from the gym, made my way home, walked past people, wafting the smell of gym.

Until this morning, when I crawled out of bed. And felt a hundred daggers stabbing every inch of my body. My muscles ached when I lifted my toothbrush, my legs were sore and there was an excruciating pain on my neck whenever I turned my head around.

Why did I do this to myself?!!!

"OH MY GOD!!!! OHMYGODOHMYGOD!!" Patrick yelled, his arms flailing vigorously

"What is it?!" My stomach knotted as I turned immediately to face him. 

He raised his finger and pointed towards the water. "Look!!!" His eyes were wide as he stared in bewilderment. "Oh my goodness!!" 

Instantly, my eyes darted across the boat towards the direction his finger was pointing to. Blue skies, the soft creases that surfaced the river, other people successfully rowing their boats, birds gliding gently in circles. 

"What?? What?!" I demanded, my eyes still searching frantically. 

"Oh my goodness!! Look! Look at that... that.. THING!!" He cried. "It's so... HUGE!!!"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Patrick. That's a... duck"

"Nooooo! Look! It's so huge!! Are you sure it's a duck?"

"Patrick... It's a duck." 

"Are you sure?? Look! Look! Oh my gosh it just went upside down!" He gasped as his hands flew towards his mouth.  "Oh my gosh, did you see that? Did you see that?" 

"Dude..." Kareen said steadily. "How'd you think they eat?" 

"But oh my gooooooosh that's so cool! It went upside down!" He exclaimed. 

I diverted my attention back towards the oar I was struggling with. Why did the other rowers make it look so... easy? Kareen and I were making the boat twirl around in circles. Jared was lying comfortably at the rear end of the boat, his eyes subtly surveying the surroundings for hot chicks. (Don't need to pretend la). Patrick was sitting across Kareen and I, guiding us to steer our boat along a straight path.

"Oh no! We're about to crash into that boat! Turn left!! LEFT!" Patrick commanded

Left? Does that mean I row faster? Eh no, slower. Wait. We're facing the opposite direction so his left or my left?

"LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEFT!! NOW NOW NOW!!!" 

Omg ok now I'm panicking! I row as quickly as I can, my heart was racing and my arms worked with full force. Why did we refuse to wear the ugly lifejackets?! I stole a quick glance behind my shoulders and saw that our boat was still heading towards the other boat! 

It all seemed as if it were happening in slow motion. 

As we inched closer and closer towards the other boat, Kareen took her hand out and pushed the boat away. She saved us. From crashing. With her bare hands. 

That was when I realized our boat was actually moving that slowly. 

But it's okay... Rowing in the park was supposed to be relaxing. 

"Oh my goodness, look at that thing!! It's got a blue beak!!"

It's supposed to be quiet... and peaceful.. and calm.. and undisturbed.. and ... 

"Are you sure it's a duck??? Is it really a duck?!?!"

"Hello Ashley? I'm here already"

It was Fabian, he was visiting London from Belfast! I hung up the phone, and Chang Jin went up to let Fabian through the main door. 

Man, my room was in a mess, as usual. I emptied the contents of my pink rubbish bin into a plastic bag to take the trash out from my room. Fabian would be here anytime now.

I opened the front door and let it close behind me. The chute was a few steps away from the flat. After opening the chute (yuck), stuffing the plastic bag inside the chute (yuck) and closing the lid back (yuck), I headed back to the flat.

Chang Jin and Fabian were standing outside my front door.

"You have the keys right?" Chang Jin raised his eyebrow and shifted his weight to one leg

Keys.  

Keys. Oh.. my god, the damn keys.

Abruptly, I stopped dead in my tracks. My keys were in my room. I locked us out of the house. I came out, letting the front door close behind me, auto-locking it from the inside, locking us outside. No one else was in the house, we were the only ones with keys here, my landlord was unreachable, we didn't have our phones with us, or our wallets, no money, no debit card, nothing. And I was still in my pyjamas. 

Oh god, we're locked out. 

We hurried down to the concierge to ask for help. The security guard told us they didn't have any spare keys. I flipped open the yellow pages, and called a few locksmiths.

"That would be 75pounds to get it done"

"75 pounds?!?!" My heart stopped beating for awhile. "Err, do you do student discount?" 

"What?" He was half laughing. "No." He said bluntly.

I handed the phone back to the security guard. You have to be kidding me, 75 pounds to unlock my front door? 

The security guard, Julian, leaned forward and spoke in a lower tone. He told us about how it has happened to other residents, and he knows a certain someone who could unlock the door. 

So we took the security guard and the caretaker to our flat, armed with a long metal rod. He took five seconds to bend it to the right shape, another five seconds to fit it through the slit of our mail box, and less than a minute to hook it to the ledge inside and unlock our front door for us.

He did some prison break stunt and he unlocked it from the outside! He was a genius! I saved 75 pounds! I can order the dress from asos! YAY!

Wait... Hang on.

That just means... Well, that just means it'll only take a minute for someone to break into our flat from the outside.

Errrr... Okay now I'm freaked out. 

+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Fabian and his fried kuay teow. 

Fabian trying on the Burberry Polo. The previous season was nicer right?

I love Westfield :) 

"What about this one?" I lifted the magazine and pointed my finger towards a different model.

There was a slight pause as my hairdresser scrutinized the picture. "Hum, nope. Can't do that for you. Your hair's too short." 

 "This one?" I suggested. 

"Nah, I don't think it'll suit you" He replied bluntly.

My face fell as I continued flipping through the glossy pages. 

"Okay You know what?" He clasped his hands and took in a deep breath. "I think what you need i something refreshing. Something different. Something..... bold." He said and flung his hands up in a very girly manner. 

"You know Victoria Beckham?" He asked as he stared straight into my eyes

I nodded my head furiously

"You want to look like her?" 

It was a rhetorical question. I mean, he said Victoria Beckham. I was fourteen and Princess Diaries made me believe hairdressers had magical powers to transform ugly ducklings into beautiful swans/princesses. 

So I screamed yes, and immediately he drew out his pair scissors and began working with my hair. I was still grinning from ear to ear as I continued thumbing through the pages of the magazines. Wow. Posh Spice! I was excited. I was squirming from my seat. 

He was snipping frantically and I saw locks of hair - lots and lots of my hair - falling all around me. But it's okay, like he said it was going to be a refreshing change. I shifted my attention back to the article I was reading. 

Half an hour later, he puts the hairdryer down and removes the towel from my back. "Taa-daa!!" He exclaimed.

I was still reading the article about the husband who cheated on his wife with his neighbour's maid but when I looked up and saw my reflection on the mirror, I instantly dropped the magazine.

I... I... I was speechless. My jaw hung open as I stared blankly at my reflection. 

Victoria Beckham? HELLO, he gave me mushroom hair! 

I remember my pillow soaked with tears. I remember my maid snickering at the back of my kitchen. I remember asking mommy if hair tonic would work. She called me a silly girl. I remember considering the idea of wearing a tudung to school. 

That was 8 years ago. 

Last week, I walked into the hairdressers to get a trim. 

"Just ONE inch" I said very slowly and carefully. I had to be extremely precise, no way am I allowing the mushroom hair to make its comeback. 

I sat up straight and monitored her closely as she worked swiftly with the scissors. No more husband cheating on wife with neighbour's maid distracting stories. My eyes never left the sight of her deadly weapon. And so an inch shorter it was at the end of the haircut. 

I fished out my wallet to draw a 20Pound note.

"Sorry love, it's 30Pounds"

"30? But it says 20pounds on your price list there" I pointed towards the sign board

"Cut and wash with the Senior Stylist.. 30 pounds, love" She smiled. "I'm a senior stylist" She placed a hand on her chest. 

"Err.... Student discount?" I batted my eyelashes

"We don't do student discounts" 

Thirty Pounds. For ONE inch. Sigh. 

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan
Marley and Me



I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye, but I loved you and I always will.